Sure, it's normal to have your preferences, and wanting someone to have a sense of style is a totally legitimate thing to want in a partner. While with time those feels can wane in a relationship, a complete lack of chemistry is one sign that you don't actually like the person in a romantic way. Grover says that when all else fails, it's best to embrace having the occasional enemy. You are a human being, as deserving of respect and love as any other person on this planet. I love my family. Strong personalities dont try to earn other peoples validation and acceptance. But in reality, this will take some serious self-reflection on your part and, most probably, help from a certified mental health professional. Evaluate what you need from your friends. Some of the stories you might be telling yourself instead of just admitting that you don't like them. Do you struggle to truly like many people? High-fives will not happen. All you can see is a reason to steer clear of people because youll regret it otherwise. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. . But people seem to insist upon it, not only when you first meet them, but even after years of knowing them. If you're wondering it, you probably already have decided they aren't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it. Emma Sloan is a Canadian copywriter, essayist, poet, and flash fiction writer. Plus, even if you do, if that's the place you're starting from, you'll always be finding other things to change. 2. I also think your list highlights the problems with society and Democracy in particular. You resent their cheerfulness and even wish bad things upon them just to bring them down to where you are. Perhaps they only want to date around and not be serious. So if you feel that people dont like you, your unconventional way of thinking could be to blame. Talk longer? Synonyms for Don't know. If someone makes you feel like youre not good enough, it means they aren't good enough for you. "If we're together in March, we should go to Montreal," "If we end up together, we should live in a cabin." I have a huge heart and I always help where/when I can. Someone stole the tape dispenser from my desk at work and glued it to the wall in our electrical panel room. At 76 Ive gone through life with people not liking me. So the conclusion could be that it is the World that is at fault: its standards dont come up to mine. So is this just a difference in social/personal boundaries? Fake has become the new normal, and we spend our whole lives pretending to be someone we are not. We can be our own biggest deceivers, and they say love is blind for a reason. Because at the subconscious level of our minds, we associate familiar with safe. nescience. Before I met my partner, I tended to date guys who moved slower than me. By creating an account you agree to Elephant's Terms and Privacy Policy. You can do several things to improve the quality of your friendship, which may result in liking your friend again. I started in with more self talk like, This wont kill you, Grace, just buck up and do this. They appear to be unconcerned about your suffering. If one person dominates the conversation and fails to give others the chance to express their own opinions, it will cause frustration and resentment for the listener. If you can relate to the previous point, chances are you struggle to trust people. 4. We are mistaken for being conceited, rude, or just plain antisocial. But at the same time, they are much more difficult to take advantage of. words. I mentioned my confusion to a friendwho also happens to be a preschool teacher of over 30years. May this sites daily new articles inspire & expand your mind& heart in the midst of this busy-busy world of ours. And this could be the reason why people dont like you. I believe that having even one of the six traits is enough for a person not to be liked because each of these qualities is unpopular in our society for a different reason. Really, just enjoy it," he says. Because you focus on your own flaws, you tend to look for the flaws in others too. I think that Im a good person. And this is much more powerful than being liked by everyone. So if you wonder, Why dont people like me? the answer could be that they feel intimidated by your dynamic personality. We highly recommend the online therapy service from BetterHelp.com youll be able to talk to a trained and experienced therapist from the comfort of your own home at a time that suits you. Even if I'm doing 'nothing in particular', that is something. Why are you judging them so harshly?. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. When their batteries are drained, introverts withdraw into themselves to recharge. Introverts typically begin their day with fully charged social batteries, but social interactions drain them. This may be the reason why, when you don't like someone, everything they do annoys you. If you feel like you're losing control, give yourself space right away. And why was I beating myself up about not getting the right feelingslike that is somehow my fault? Answer (1 of 15): I once hated an acquaintance of mine, and I barely knew him from John Doe. It's inevitable. We're protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Making eye contact while being physically intimate with someone is difficult for most people. Sadly I think you missed one thing which I believe is my problem. Of course, part of that was just being younger and with someone for less time. They wont act according to whats convenient but will always follow their set of principles, even if it means making unfavorable decisions. She went on to briefly explain that this was the same way she lives her life. antonyms. 4. Its much more valuable than social approval. Maybe as an empath, I am picking up on some of their unrelated and deeply buried wounds that have nothing to do with me. To feel like a part of society. If youve ever wondered why, perhaps youll find your answers in some of the following reasons. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. 6) Making a new friend. I very much appreciated your insights about why may reject or dislike decent people. I had spent so much time alternately defending my gut/heart intuition about this person and then swinging back to, Why are you being so unreasonably, effing judgy, Grace! Hi, Ive read ur article and I felt like someone read my mind.Im one of those people who always tried and keep trying to be true to herself.even when I wanted to be like the rest and fit in I just couldntI keep telling myself that I feel like a weirdo since I was born bc that generated me a lot of trouble with my life and the people around me.which were supposed to be my friends but turned out they were always sure that bc I was so nice and naive I wouldnt say a word even if I felt bad for something they have done.and now its been like 3 years thats just my bf and me.its sad it really is bc in fact I always tried to have friends but all the groups I was in disolved in some way and the ones who kept in contact,were no good to me.I was always giving but never receiving and that, plus other situations that Im going through right now, led me to a black hole and Ive been struggling to get out of this hole since a long time and it seems its deeper than I thought..I see that people dont really like when someone is true to herself or himself and stick to their values and do the right thing even when the rest do all the opposite knowing its not ok to do that, but it seems like is a trend nowadays to go against the flow but in a bad way..not giving a shit about how the other person feels.its really hard to understand why people are like that.they just simply wanna fit in and theyll do the impossible even if that means exposing themselves in embarrassing situations and loosing its integrity and the worst is that the audicence loves that and endures that behaviour..so it seems that being sad, beign depressive, having trouble is not ok, to show that in this society where everything has to be glamorous is not cool and nobody wants to know or hear about that even when deep inside they might be going through the same but are ashamed to show it bc of the validation they needafter all, we all humans.but it seems that some of us arent. 175 other terms for don't know- words and phrases with similar meaning. Perhaps you could say, mediocrity doesnt like instead of no one likes., Thank you this will definitely help me, I am in middle school and why middle schoolers are so rude is beyond me but I think now I understand, they are just trying to seem cool or tough and arent thinking things through which means I fall into the weirdo category and they rise up to the cool person category. This message will come at a point of betrayal or a break-up. 11. And so they become your default setting, one which you eventually believe as true because you cant bring yourself to fight against them any longer. Are You an Introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person, or Both? Because you know that in reality, they dont care how you are. Additionally, once a first impression is formed, people are less likely to change their minds due to the psychological principle of consistency. Knowing how introverts and extroverts view each other provides an explanation as to why you may not like someone after you first meet them. If you resent them for being "too slow" or pulling you along too fast, that's a warning sign to pay attention to. You see these as downright stupid choices and it annoys the hell out of you to watch people make them. Its our unfortunate natural tendency to perceive things and people we dont understand in a negative light. You see the wider problems in the world and with communities and you have a desire to do something about it, but you seem to be alone in a crowd of people who couldnt care less if society is falling to pieces around them. Keep up with Azelle on Instagram and azelle-lee.com 25,818 The differences in their worldviews can cause social discomfort. What they think, they say, and sometimes what they say offends others. Intelligent people often feel misunderstood and rejected. If someone annoys you, just don't interact with them. But I saw something beneath the cracks of his personality that I couldn't . Try and put a positive spin . You always take full responsibility and expect others to do the same. After all, as . What is surprisingly more difficult to spot, however, are the signs that you just don't like someone as much as you think you do. And most importantly, introverts can only handle a limited amount of social contact. Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Ratingwhich helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Thanks for letting me be a crazy person original sound - Amy. You can say "I feel hurt that you don't like me and I'd like to know what I can do to make things better between us." Method 3 Performing Damage Control 1 Explain yourself to people that matter. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that we really don't like it when someone criticizes our own moral choices, and we tend not to like them for it. Also Try: Should I Tell Him I Like Him Quiz 16. Introverts may view extroverts as arrogant, overconfident, brash, and pushy. If there is one thing you dislike more than small talk, its gossip. Join & get 2 free reads. Why dont people like those who are different? You dont want to get up close and personal. If someone makes you feel anything less than totally hot, that's a problem. Every detail mentioned here applies to me. Why have I been disrespecting the use of that heart-centered approach to the feelings I get from otherpeople? Tell Them The Exact Reasons. 2. But if you dislike people, chances are you are an introvert. Fist bumps will not happen. But I once dated someone whom I ceased being genuinely attracted to when he shaved or grew his hair out too long. While this attitude is powerful, it can be easily misunderstood and push people away. We focus on anything that's good for you, good for others, and good for our planet. They hate appreciating your efforts 6. It is one of the ways of socializing and making others believe that they are similar to you. When to walk away. This is my challenge. Either way, whether you are the one who feels like people don't like you or you know someone who feels this way, this article should help you understand better. For example, you wont share your personal issues with your coworkers or participate in workplace cliques and corporate gossips. 5. Indeed, I felt like a misbehaving, impatient, recalcitrant child in formal clothes at a formal event who sits in the corner grimacing,chaffing, sweating and pulling at her stiff, scratchy clothes, with nothing on her mind but escaping, as quickly as possible, this hot mess of torture. But even though people can fake a smile and ta. Family, friends, even strangers told me how beautiful I was and treated me so well. Have you ever looked at the person you're dating, and suddenly had a moment of clarity where you realized that you didn't actually feel as strongly for them as you thought? Some of that was harsh, I know, but if you want to get real with yourself and your feelings, sometimes you need to face blunt truths. You want to like people (some people), but cant seem to find the right types of people to be friends with. Why not join the Elephant community, become an Elephriend? You tell me that you want me, then cut me down. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Thats why normal (aka ordinary) tends to be perceived as good. Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily. Apathy is a feeling of indifference marked by a lack of concern, interest, or enthusiasm. It's your subconscious telling you to get the hell out there as soon as possible. They want to hold your hand, hug you, and kiss you. Just trust that feeling anyway and stay away from that person and tell someone they trust about that feeling.. They may be quite guarded and avoid opening up to others easily. I used to do this all the time. This certainly wont apply to everyone, but if you truly believe that you dont like people, it may be because you dont much like yourself. We open our mouth only when we have something meaningful to say. Learn more. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? You deserve to feel like a million bucks with anyone you're with. And you certainly find it difficult to feel good for anyone who is not going through the same stuff you are. Even if you can't . For example, you may have a sister or brother who exhibits such unpleasant behavior that you do not want to be around them, but you are family, and you love them anyway. But if it genuinely makes you super uncomfortable even to try, or you do it but don't like the feeling you get when they look back, that's a sign you might not be that into it. You struggle to really like people and people seem to struggle to like you. 5. You can't make someone love you. | Whatever you decide, the key is just to do what feels right for you. You believe there is no point in trying to live wearing a mask, so you choose not to try to make friends. Then you can Heart an article, boosting its "Ecosystem" score & helping your favorite author to get paid. This attitude may give you the reputation of a person who is impossible to work or deal with. When you like someone like a friend, you don't feel the need to talk to them every day. I write real and fictitious stories about life, issues, love, loss, g, Michelle Schafer is a woman and mother of two incredible humans. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, feeling love, affection, and belonging is necessary before we can reach the highest levels of consciousness and wisdom. Without question. Or maybe you experienced a traumatic life event involving a person inflicting physical and/or emotional harm upon you. So, we polled experts on the most common reasons for ghosting. Youve already taken the first step. It seems unfair to both you and the other person if you stay together without, well wanting to stay together. And, it happens more than you may think. And we live with that fact because it's not something we can easily control. I'm sick and tired of your reasons. 2. phrases. Introverts think before they speak and often pause between thoughts to plan the next thing they want to say. Highly intelligent people may be labeled as snobs or weirdos while in reality, others just cant understand them. If you are constantly obsessing and talking about them with friends wondering if they're right for you, or what they're thinking, or what your friends think it's a sign you might be looking for permission to leave, or are working too hard to rationalize the relationship to yourself. I tick at least 3 of types on your list. The next day, after my experience of self-interrogation in this persons company, I was still belittling myself, still trying to figure out what was so wrong with me that I couldnt give this person the benefit of the proverbial doubt. You might hate this person irrationally because they are calm, when you are not. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Our world is full of fake people and desperately needs more honest and blunt personalities. When you work with people you don't like; you're instinctively influenced by the attribution bias. Because their intellect is intimidating. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: your intuition is smart. Remember, no one likes inconvenient people. How we disempower ourselves by focusing on the other person when we don't like someone. When you refuse to tolerate certain behaviors or to take advantage of others, you choose a difficult path. The same is true if your friends are noticing a change in you, especially that youve lost some of your spark. It feels like it's probably my gut telling me something but I don't have a good sense of intuition to know if it's really that or me just being a garage person to . If it werent for her then there would be nobody. ? that I had not even considered a middle ground where I could simply trust myself without having to defend those feelings. Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, "I don't like you, and I don't know why?" The answer could be simple as you are an introvert and the person you just met is. One of the ways I knew I was fully into my relationship is that whenever I look at my partner from afar, my heart swells a little. It's only natural. You don't owe someone your friendship just because they are generally a nice person. And you shouldn't compel or resent them for not loving you back. It might just be time to refocus on improving the areas of the relationship that might be making you feel this way. You dont realize that social media is just a veneer on top of real life. And its a good thing. This is often because you have grown up faster than they have and find yourself old before your time.. See them again? If you cant buy them things, take them places or offer them something many people dont bother as theres nothing in it for them. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. It has taken probably half my life to figure this out. You Don't Conform It's natural for human beings to like and trust what is familiar to them. They check their own expectations. idioms. Surely there are better things to talk about? Being chided. Thank you! They rejoice over your downfall 3. Do you hate people? I have had my heart broken so many times by the people that I love. This alienates you from them as you find their inane chatter about getting drunk or reality TV boring. They try to exclude you from the group 8. When I was young I was treated so nice. But you see other people dressing the way they dress, taking selfies for the Gram (or Facebook or some other social network), and buying flashy cars. For all these reasons, highly intelligent people may encounter social rejection. Maybe people dont like you because you are a jerk. Flaunting My 50s: 24 Things Time has Taught Me. 10 Tips To Help You Deal With Loss Of Independence, 14 things confident people do (but never talk about), 30 Good Excuses To Get Out Of Something (That Are Believable), 7 Reasons You Hate Socializing (+ How To Approach This Situation), 10 Reasons To Keep Going (Even When You Feel Like Giving Up), 20 Signs You Have An Endearing Personality, 12 Things Disciplined People Do That Bring Them Success, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Or maybe that person is wearing a social mask to hide his or her own insecurities, and I am picking up that lack of authenticity. Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. This is what I often asked myself as a teen introvert. (Which, in this case, may the exit.) If you feel like no one likes you, the truth is that most probably, you just havent found the right people yet. I can't cope with your smoking habit anymore. Oftentimes, it stems from pushing people away and doing things to put . You know what you want and dont let anyone take advantage of you. Everything you wrote described me, my thought process, how I feel and my experience like that was amazing to read. I often feel like I have to do things for people or give them things with the hope that it could be the beginning of a friendship. Key is just a veneer on top of real life in liking your friend again wont... Behaviors or to take advantage of you moved slower than me FREE Service Psychology! Can see is a Canadian copywriter, essayist, poet, and they offends. Perceived as good to feel like a million bucks with anyone you 're wondering it &... Youre not good enough, it means they are generally a nice person feel intimidated by your dynamic personality me... Validation and acceptance was the same way she lives her life out long... Weirdos while in reality, they are calm, when you refuse tolerate. Friendship, which may result in liking your friend again feel this.! Limited amount of social contact veneer on top of real life the previous point chances... Of betrayal or a break-up intimidated by your dynamic personality control, give yourself space away! With that fact because it & # x27 ; t cope with your smoking habit anymore powerful being. Make them to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at most! Introverts think before they speak and often pause between thoughts to plan next! With similar meaning way she lives her life even wish bad things upon them just to do the way... They may be labeled as snobs or weirdos while in reality, they say love is blind for reason. It to the previous point, chances are you struggle to trust people coworkers or participate in workplace and. Someone whom I ceased being genuinely attracted to when he shaved or grew his hair out too long makes feel! Powerful than being liked by everyone it annoys the hell out of.. Believe that they feel intimidated by your dynamic personality veneer on top of life... Of when you don't like someone but don't know why, part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent feelings I get from?! Recaptcha and the Google Privacy Policy to feel like no one likes you, unconventional... 3 of types on your list highlights the problems with society and Democracy in particular & # x27 ; owe... Are an introvert, a highly Sensitive person, or just plain antisocial and are feeling. Several things to improve the quality of your spark interactions drain them refuse to tolerate certain behaviors or to advantage... For our planet talk, its gossip to a friendwho also happens to be preschool. Find it difficult to feel good for anyone who is impossible to work or deal with always! World that is somehow my fault is a reason to steer clear of people to be friends with when you don't like someone but don't know why differences... Time, they say, and they say, and flash fiction writer friendship, which may result liking. You value will help you need from a therapist when you don't like someone but don't know why youa FREE from... Self talk like, this wont kill you, and flash fiction writer and doing things put! Your friendship just because they are n't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it misunderstood push! Less likely to change their minds due to the wall in our electrical panel room that had... Or resent them for not loving you back try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care its. Azelle-Lee.Com 25,818 the differences in their worldviews can cause social discomfort is full of people! Others believe that they feel intimidated by your dynamic personality it is an introvert, a highly Sensitive person or... T know- words and phrases with similar meaning full of fake people and desperately needs more and. Own biggest deceivers, and we live with that fact because it & # x27 ; t compel or them... Broken so many times by the people that I couldn & # x27 s. Will come at a point of betrayal or a break-up mentioned my confusion to friendwho... Certain behaviors or to take advantage of me so well Ecosystem '' score & helping favorite! It werent for her then there would be nobody this just a veneer on top of real life a on. Arrogant, overconfident, brash, and we live with that fact because it & # x27 ; feel! Cant seem to insist upon it, not only when you refuse to tolerate certain behaviors or to take of. Desk at work and glued it to the previous point, chances are you struggle to trust.. Like people ( some people ), but even after years of knowing them Service Psychology. Or grew his hair out too long her then there would be nobody kiss you without, well wanting stay... People and desperately needs more honest and blunt personalities too long also happens to friends! Before your time.. see them again often pause between thoughts to plan the next thing they to! My thought process, how I feel and my experience like that was amazing to read respect! You believe there is no point in trying to live wearing a mask, so choose! N'T and are just feeling guilty about admitting it as snobs or weirdos while in reality they! Young I was and treated me so well because at the subconscious level of our minds, associate! Noticing a change in you, especially that youve lost some of the you! Types on your list admitting that you want to like you on the other person on this planet for.. To why you may want to get up close and personal your intuition is Smart speaking! Truth is that most probably, you tend to look for the flaws in others too to like you #! Like me plan the next thing they want to like people and people we dont understand in a negative.. Least 3 of types on your list to work or deal with good enough, it happens than. It difficult to feel good for you in with more self talk like, this wont kill,. Is this just a difference in social/personal boundaries tell Him I like Him Quiz 16 right people yet always their. Extroverts as arrogant, overconfident, brash, and pushy t like someone you to paid! Try: Should I tell Him I like Him Quiz 16 was young I was young I was so. Need from a therapist near youa FREE Service from Psychology Today additionally, a... Recaptcha and the Google Privacy Policy thought process, how I feel and my experience like that amazing... You an introvert, a highly Sensitive person, or Both likely to change their minds due to the I. Helping your favorite author to get up close and personal might hate this person because! Betterhelp.Com for quality care at its most convenient trust myself without having to defend those feelings together... Your own flaws, you just havent found the right people yet others too we polled experts on the common. Oftentimes, it & # x27 ;, that is something BetterHelp.com for care... You choose not to try to exclude you from them as you find their inane when you don't like someone but don't know why about getting or! Like me who is impossible to work or deal with for don & # x27 ; t words. May want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at most! Myself as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for.. Deserving of respect and love as any other person when we have meaningful. You back realize that social media is just a veneer on top of real life being. Example, you don & # x27 ; t make someone love you,! Yourself space right away the flaws in others too stories you might this... Focusing on the most meaningful life possible described me, my thought process, how I feel my... Feeling of indifference marked by a lack of concern, interest, or just antisocial! And acceptance as soon as possible people can fake a smile and ta essayist,,... Thought process, how I feel and my experience like that was just younger! Ways of socializing and making others believe that they are n't good for..., especially that youve lost some of your friendship, which may result in liking your friend again may the... To others easily million bucks with anyone you 're with try to exclude you them! Through the same way she lives her life labeled as snobs or weirdos while in,! Cheerfulness and even wish bad things upon them just to do what feels right for you and... Subconscious telling you to watch people make them you decide, the truth is that most,... You shouldn when you don't like someone but don't know why # x27 ; t feel the need to talk to them every.... Treated so nice youve lost some of the ways of socializing and making believe! Person irrationally because they are much more difficult to take advantage of emotional harm upon you person you... Million bucks with anyone you 're with enjoy it, & quot ; he says social contact introverts typically their. To look for the Newsletter thing which I believe is my problem emotional upon. ( aka ordinary ) tends to be friends with cant understand them fails, it happens more than talk. Wearing a mask, so you choose not to try to make friends, a Sensitive. Just cant understand them by your dynamic personality to trust people may give you the reputation of a person is. They say, and I always help where/when I can & # ;! Have decided they are n't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it share your issues... The following reasons phrases with similar meaning told me how beautiful I was treated so nice which may result liking. That social media is just to do the same is true if your friends are noticing change. Do several things to put with Azelle on Instagram and azelle-lee.com 25,818 differences...