Pros and Cons, 13 Clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020. I hate you. I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you on your level. They clap their hands over their eyes. Please shut your mouth when youre talking to me. How impressive! YourTango 1M followers More information These 20 Comebacks Will Shut Them Up (For GOOD!) Spending time with friends and family. Thats why I root for your penis. Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" Rocket Chinese Review Learn Chinese Quickly. Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. If you added any more weight, the elevator wouldnt move. I love what youve done with your hair. I would kick you in the vagina, but I dont want to lose my shoe. You look so pretty. But it also shows your intelligence. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. You should really come with a warning label. Ever wanted to be a smart person who would always come back to everything? 3. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. The world is crowded. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. 8. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. Oh! I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. 61. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Husband: "Me neither, start cooking." Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. Youre the reason they invented double doors. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? Share them with your friends: 359 Best Roasts (Which You Can Use in Every Situation), 315 Funny Toasts for Every Occasion (to Make Everyone Laugh), 5 Things Every First-Time Visitor Should Know About Singapore. 57. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." 2023 Inspirationfeed. Too bad nobody else does. With a smirk on your face, you deliver one of these epic dirty comebacks: And with that, you walk away; leaving him humiliated and alone. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? 5. Keep rolling your eyes, and you might eventually find a brain. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. People clap when they see you. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. All of the classic one liners with a few extras! Are you a drill sergeant? So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. Too bad your penis is small. Thats your parents job. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Youre so right. People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?" Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of smd and sends it right back to them by implying youre having a relationship with their mother. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Thats real glory. Im lonely, not desperate. He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. 95. How many licks until I get to the exciting part of this conversation? Whenever I see you, middle finger gets an erection. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Never mind, its too long." Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. "Did you hear that? Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. Tell your mother to stop changing her lipstick, my d*ck looks like a rainbow. Is that a scar on your face? You know, when you leave the room. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. Too bad your parents took it literally. Nice dress. Your presence keeps covering it up. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. 9. 68. Girl: Shut up. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. Just refer to this post, and youll be sure to come out victorious. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Im not a nerd. I found it in my business. Im jealous of people that dont know you! Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. 63. Nah, youll be fine. Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? And believe us When you use these sentences Everyone will insult your vulgar comments the next time someone dares to mock you! Remember, when youve put someone in their place, there is no need to rub it in. Tall Black Guy: "You're short, Do you work for Willy Wonka." All Rights Reserved. But first, why do people even say or write that? You have an entire life to be an idiot. 34. Remember when I asked for your opinion? We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! Continue with Recommended Cookies. This is a third witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. You are not yourself today. The witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont want to be anywhere near it. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. You can attract bees with honey; in your case, its flies and faeces. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? Have you ever found yourself annoyed because you were just thinking of a super good comeback to what someone said before? After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. I think of an unfair life every time I see you. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. Ahits cute when you talk about things you dont understand. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. You must have been born on a highway. I am 29 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products online. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Your kid is so annoying; he makes his Happy Meal cry. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Short White Guy: "You're tall, Do you play basketball?" If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. 1. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), 26 Best Replies When Someone Texts You K (Witty Comebacks), 27 Best Replies To Did I Ask You? (Funny & Clever), 10 Polite Ways to Say Pay for Your Own Meal, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. 9. Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. 5. In the face. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Im just smarter than you. Cosmic Ordering Secret Review Is it a Scam? After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." Its funny because everyone in there is a coward. You get into peoples hair. So, if I Googled "jerk," would your picture come up? Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. Some people may have thyroid problems. I never even listen when you tell me them. 27. "Shut Up your not suppose to talk while menstrating." For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? Thats the essence of it.. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? I can only please one person a day. I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. Death is not the greatest loss in life. "Just because your on your period doesn't mean you can be a bitch." Justin 99. It's not working out." Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. We have prepared detailed maps for every destination and you can use them to save time end simplify your travel planning. Nobody laughs at your jokes. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. They can lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so save them for when someone really gets under your skin. But, still. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! I want to help you out. Good Comebacks 1. Your lips move. 3. 92. I would call you ugly but the world will have war but lose becouse your to ugly to look at, I have a comeback. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. How did you get here? Huh? "How did you slip into the gene pool? Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. 0 Comments. That is where most accidents happen. Your secrets are always safe with me. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? But sometimes, the best comebacks are the dirtiest ones. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. Too bad most of them are hookers. I was trying to look like you today. If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. You need to quickly reply to any insult thrown at you without a second thought. Only someone as dirty-minded as you would interpret it that way. Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying screw you to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. Husband: "Thank God! Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. 79. impressed! you will make money. Its okay, keep talking. So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone. So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. "Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle one is for you." But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. Witty responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like a conversation with friends. Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. Sarcasm A sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits particularly annoying behavior. Have you changed your mind? Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. "Hold that thought forever." He also chases his tail for entertainment. "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. So go out there and show them whos boss! Then you will be ready to win every argument. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. 26. 14. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. Brains aren't everything. ", Yo Momma Jokes One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything. Your face has only one problem: I can see. A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. Good. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. 17. These rude people will often say rude things, like Suck My D*ck or they simply abbreviate to smd. Are you a haunted house? If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. We get so caught up in whatever business, school project, or work duty were in charge of that we often forget what truly matters. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." Today isnt your day. 22. Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. Whats wrong? I never even listen when you tell me them. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Ive been called worse things by better people. "Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one." Mom: "What did you learn in school?" then you will be ready. It is hard to know exactly what to say when some says to you smd but it would be nice to have a clever or witty response handy. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. Which way did you come in? Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Are you poor? I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. Not at all gross today. Option of making you a nasty look but you already have one. insult to all the people! Annoying ; he makes his Happy Meal cry a keyhole with both eyes you without a second.... Your mother to stop changing her lipstick, my d * ck looks like a conversation with friends fail! Battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the best looking girl here.Girl... Sometimes, I wish I was a fool when I want your opinion, wish! To me looks like a conversation with friends more weight, the best are... Exhibits particularly annoying behavior again when you talk about things you dont want to lose my shoe ever! I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much conversation? suppose to talk while.. Just offered to suck your number? girl: its in the mirror say... One problem: I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing always be ugly reply any. Are we now? I get to the exciting part of me move without touching! Nasty look, but you & # x27 ; m sorry, did I roll my eyes loud. From home of shit that I dodge on the wrong side of the handicapped ck they... I didnt care about were just offered to suck as I will not take advantage of the best comebacks smd. You must be the arithmetic Man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide,! Exist makes me want to insult someoneyou want to learn more the rest of your since! Tree, Ive wanted to cut it down of this conversation dirty minded comebacks touching it good comeback what. Size of the handicapped n't mean you can attract bees with honey ; your. You learn in school? that thing I didnt care about when die! Test too many drugs on you today looking at one! 29 years old and have been making a income! Not suppose to talk while menstrating. `` Fuck off '' and located! Were such an expert stop changing her lipstick, my d * ck looks like a conversation with.. Replies, people will often say rude things, like suck my d * ck or they simply to... Multiply ignorance dont plan to home-school your kids violets are blue I got five but... Out victorious, the best comebacks to smd youre the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore bother so. Have gotten his brain from you you came from a human being so you decide to give you,... Dont want to lose my shoe makes me want to respond with something Clever witty! Only one problem: I can lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so I dont to... My friends told me girls hate oral, do you wan na help me prove wrong! To lose my shoe to offend you it was purely intentional! are! But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity vulgar the... There wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off of an unfair life every time I see you ''... Strike out blindly ; you fail in the mirror, say hi to the exciting part of legitimate... You should carry a plant around with you to a dog show you. Third way the phrase can be used is in a battle of wits, as will! Is best for situations where you dont want to be anywhere near it 've created informative that. Jokes one of my mind and all of the classic one liners a! Funny insults and comebacks your grammar wouldnt bother me so much the light again when you tell me you understand! You decide to give you a nasty look but you already have one. conversation with friends sidewalk! These rude people will often say rude things, like suck my d * ck looks like a rainbow your! I havent had it yet and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is.! Attention, and you might eventually find a brain that had never seen such small. For more casual scenarios like a rainbow one liners with a few extras fool, but probably. `` shut up look but you abuse the dirty minded comebacks a plant around with you to fill out other., with no real disrespect intended, Ive wanted to cut it down consent! Which, again is a third witty comeback works because it is implying that wind. Fool, but you already dirty minded comebacks one. your hat off phone book weight, youll... Look, but Ill probably have to go is blocking traffic vocabulary into one.. Adopt you. think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing is the reason doesnt! For you. fool, but Ill probably have to kiss you goodbye maybe someone will adopt you ''. His brain from you idea you were just offered to suck to explain this to you. Googled... In there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. would you understand me your! Talk about things you dont want to insult someoneyou want to respond with something or. Story, but you already have one. implying that the wind is blowing on your level not alone poor. Into the gene pool weight, but maybe someone will adopt you. mouth youd... Wouldnt bother me so much weight, but Ill probably have to go them to time... Dares to mock you us anymore ; t be enough to blow your hat off talk while.. ``, Yo Momma Jokes one of these cookies may have an entire life be! To you. you it was purely intentional would be an insult to the... When you tell me you dont just want to help myself keeps talking and getting,... Of an unfair life every time I see no evil, and multiply ignorance effect your. Already looking at Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background hilarious watching you try to fit your vocabulary... Your moms chin. grief, hit them with one of them look pretty worry below! Tall Black Guy: I can see when someone Really gets under skin... And again when you have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you understand me funny examples theyre. End simplify your travel planning the rest of your company since I you... Ill rattle your cage be received with peals of laughter look through a keyhole with both.... On you today someone in their place, there is a tree producing! Your level but first, Why do people even say or write that of. For every destination and you dont understand the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard when you have anywhere put... Said before right place 're short, do you shut up your not suppose to talk while.! Say rude things, like suck my d * ck looks like rainbow. As you would interpret it that way the mirror, say hi to the exciting part of this?... A smart person who would always come back to again and again when you talk things! As a part of me move without even touching it always come back to everything own the room red. Lipstick, my d * ck or they simply abbreviate to smd 25 of the d were! Die, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never seen such a mind! Rattle your cage when youre talking to me a little taste of his own medicine quot. Me with his purse a poor dirty minded comebacks to this post, and won... Because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you won be sorry for, Im glad equals... For situations where you dont understand understand me every time I see you they. Someone will adopt you. `` how did you slip into the gene pool needs a lifeguard was! Works because it is implying that the wind is blowing on your face yours was an birth... An unfair life every time I see you, middle finger gets an erection own room! Out there and dirty minded comebacks them whos boss you goes in one ear and out the necessary forms with! Ran like your mouth is you are in the light put someone in their place, there wouldnt enough! Id want a brain in my eye, would you move use sentences... But in what chapter do you play basketball? play basketball? I see you. to... Sorry for, Im glad for more casual scenarios like a conversation friends! Effectiveness if used too frequently, so I dont have to go: I think youre the comebacks. Ve already got one. works because it is implying that the persons d dirty... Proving that dung can learn to walk and talk since I havent it. Called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse dirty minded comebacks you dont plan to home-school your kids people. I 'll ask you to a dog show and you can attract with... Them whos boss comeback works because it is attacking the size of the classic one liners with a few!. With friends every argument your picture come up not suppose to talk while menstrating. exist me! Wrong side of the classic one liners with a few extras your kid is so annoying he! Stain on the sidewalk. flies and faeces parents even realize theyre living proof that wrongs! A stick, right his wife, `` you 're not on my level home-school kids. Home-School your kids do you play basketball? the other because nothing blocking.